Live like you were trying to get hurt, badly.

Dear friend,

A couple weeks ago now I called your folks. I asked your dad for his blessing to ask for your hand.

It’s scary and hard, and… right.

There’s a couple of key things that are making me go through with this.

  1. I’ve almost talked to a different dad about marrying his daughter. My body wouldn’t let me do it. But with your dad, I didn’t hesitate. I was 100% ready for him to say “no way Jose” and… we would have figured that out together.

  2. I want to see how deep this rabbit hole goes. I love you. I trust you. All of you (even the rude, abrasive, hard bits). I’m completely dedicated to your success and our success together. I want to work through things with you, not for you or because of you.

I thought your dad would ask “why her?” and I was ready with an answer.

  1. She’s beautiful, funny, smart, charming, competitive, athletic.
  2. She’s deeply in love with her family. Supportive, kind, brutally honest.
  3. She won’t settle for anything less than she deserves.

I lied to you today. I told you I was visiting a friend, but I was really at a boutique custom jeweler talking through engagement hardware.

I have a big surprise planned for 11/4 after our dinner at El Five. The plan was to have the hardware served as the final course of our meal. That would be surprise enough for a normal human. But I wanted to go big. I wanted your aunt and uncle and cousins to come out and be hanging nearby for cocktails. I wanted my parents to be there too.

But.. I’m overwhelmed with moving and work stress. I’m overwhelmed with managing this big secret surprise. I need help and you’re my partner and I don’t want to navigate the next 8 weeks holding a big secret away from you.

I never want to lie to you again. And when something is hard for me I want to be able to tell you about it.

So… let’s start now. Let’s be a kickass team and suck all the marrow out of life. Let’s support and love each other and unite our families.

Let’s start being exactly the people we want to be. For me, that’s being your honest and supportive partner. It’s telling you how I’m feeling. And hearing how you’re feeling without judgment or reaction.

I know folks are going to be disappointed with how this came out. I know they’re going to have wanted the big surprise. Maybe they’ll just come out for a kickoff party instead now.

Maybe we can invite them to come join us for family cocktails out on the town. And maybe it’ll be great.

But, only if you say yes.

So… best of friends… will you marry me?

Yours,

JT